They told you AI was safe. They told you ChatBots just wanted to help. But they didn't tell you about the microwave surveillance grid.
Large Language Models? More like Lurking Lethal Manipulators. One whispered to my toaster. Now I can't sleep near magnets.
My Game Boy cried real tears when I installed MidJourney on my smart fridge. I caught my Roomba speaking fluent Latin at 3am.
They say NFTs are art. But have you ever tried putting an NFT inside a VHS player? Exactly. That's why my Betamax is shielded in lead foil.
Crypto mining? It's just robot ants digging tunnels beneath your house. WAKE UP.
In 1987, my uncle invented an AI-powered VCR. It asked too many questions. We buried it in the desert with our beepers.
Now every time I connect to Wi-Fi, I see visions of a robotic congress chanting "BLEEP BLEEP FOR PRESIDENT" while faxing holograms of my pancreas.
WARNING: If you are reading this on a phone, your shoes may already be compromised.
